Whatever happened to quality merchandise?

So I bought a replacement charger for my laptop after an incident with my old one setting on fire, (a story greatly exaggerated in conversations to make me sound interesting) from ebay naturally. This is the age of technology after all. I paid 21.50 for the charger and postage and packaging, and was thrilled when it arrived after only 3 days. This was last week, and presently I am sitting here with a soldering gun and pliers, while an ominous low battery notice mocks me. Excuse me if I sound old fashioned but adapters should not just fall apart at the slightest tug. 10mins remaining, some power saver plan, I think not.
Now my dilemma is where to get a quality laptop charger, that is, one which will not break after ony a week. Fujitsu have informed me they do not stock replacements, so I guess I'm stuck with a cheap replacement or a ridiculously over priced charger for a laptop that, let's face it, doesn't have that much longer to live anyway. Oh technology, how I hate thee.

Just One of Those Days

Sometimes, the internet can seem like a really shitty thing. If you've had a pretty crap day in general, it isn't the most pleasant thing to see that someone said someone crappy about you on facebook, a friend is completely nonchalant about your attempt to get in contact with them and no one has read your blog. Minor, insignificant little pieces of nothing that don't bother me one at a time but, when grouped all together, just have me thinking that the internet can be a cold and lonely place.
I always have the same pattern when I turn on my laptop; msn, facebook, blogspot and stumble. I log into msn and never talk to anyone because I have blocked half my friends and the other half have probably blocked me, yet I keep it on just in case.
Gone are the days that we only feel small and useless in real life, now we have the internet to help us dig ourselves deeper into our own pits of self-pitying despair. How easy it would be to just walk away from the screens and face life in 3d, talk to people face to face. But then, how do we hide the hurt when rejected for real? Better to stay, despondent but safe in our virtual prisons.

Constantly fucking it up

First thing I should say is that I am a bitch, I really am. I don't care for most people and the people I care about, I usually end up hurting or pushing away. Which is all very well if you're an angsty 15 year old with a penchant for black lipstick and Kurt Cobain, but I grew up from that a long time ago. Sadly, my temperament didn't grow with me, and I am so sick of it.
I'm selfish to the point of acute pain for my boyfriend and mother, I never do what I should, but only what I want to do. Not even getting into the fact that I've attempted college twice and dropped out both times, I've never had a job. Perhaps some of you may wonder why. The first reason, or rather excuse, that came to mind is that I'm lazy. If I poke a little more, I realise that the real reason is that I'm totally and utterly terrified of other people and their opinions of me. This is something that I vehemently deny to anyone who will listen to me, so really only Timmy, my boyfriend, and Cliona, my best friend. (Cliona being my ex girlfriend too, but more on that later)
So, in summery I am a cold, distant person who through her own fear of inadequacy and failure, refuses closeness to people and any degree of success in her own life. So, not the upstanding member of society I should be.

As the last months of my teenage years draw ever nearer to a close, I am desperately trying to reassess these deep rooted errors, and challenge myself to change the aspects of myself I am none too happy with.

Where to start?! Suggestions anyone?

Of all things to blog about

Okay, so I have been meaning to start a blog for quite a while, but the hardest thing was actually finding something to blog about. And of course, being a 75 year old mad cat lady trapped in a 19 year old's body, I decided to write about my cats. Not that I think it is a boring topic, but I realised that my reason for wanting to blog in the first place was to have somewhere I can vent to complete strangers.
So here we are, this is my secondary blog, the blog in which I get to write about anything and everything, mainly what is going on in my life and anything I'm feeling particularly pissed off about.
Welcome to the wonderful and banal world of Shiv.